9 comments on “Let it Go

  1. Even as it is painful to take this in, to read the ache, to feel grief in every sentence, I am so thankful to know the beauty and goodness in the person who has penned every hard memory and wound, the person who is choosing to move forward. You are a treasure, my friend.

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  2. I love you. The entity that is God (neither male nor female since a spiritual being) also loves you just as you are.

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    • Lots of good stuff there. Sometimes you have to walk away in order to be healthy. These are some of my thoughts inspired by that article you linked:

      I also have come to realize the ridiculously unfair burden people place on LGBTQ people. Our society often expects us to educate everyone, anywhere at any time. No. That’s not okay. It’s not my responsibility to educate someone on LGBTQ topics. There’s not enough hours in my day to do that for everyone.

      Sometimes I’ll just offer something for them to read — an article or a book or just a blog post, because that’s really all the energy I can spend on it. Often times, people will get upset at me for not automatically educating them, and many a time, they won’t read my suggestion. To me that say: “I’m not really invested in this and I don’t want to make the effort.” If someone can’t meet me halfway, then to me, that becomes a negative drain on my energy, and thus unhealthy. I also find it a bit alarming if in my first encounter with someone, they make my sexuality a huge deal in the conversation. Also, not okay. I am under no obligation to discuss my sexuality (or my ambiguous gender presentation) with anyone at any time. My body is not public property, and that means people do not have the right to dissect my body at our first conversation (or even second or third). It takes a lot of trust before I’m willing to discuss this in depth with someone, and they have to earn that trust. I can’t just hand it out freely because when I did that, I ended up in numerous very unsafe and unhealthy places and relationships. Learning to walk away from those was hard, especially since some were close friends at the time or family members.

      Sometimes in life you have to learn things the hard way, and then heal in a safe place. It sucks that we all have to go through stuff like this, but then, I try hard to see it as the fire reforging us into something new. In Zechariah I believe, there’s a neat verse about refiner’s fire… how the people are put in the fire, refined like silver, tested like gold.

      Just as fire can refine metal, and help forge stronger forms of it, maybe it can do the same for us? I’d like to hope, but sometimes I’m also left wondering if too much fire in one’s life can be detrimental to growth. Just as fire can renew; it can also destroy. How much is too much? Can I actually trust God to know my limits? That day at the lake, I came to the conclusion that no. I can’t. Has that changed? I don’t know yet. I just don’t know.

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  3. Beautifully told I can relate to feeling an outcast. Yet you are not an outcast from me. You are interconnected with everything and I love and accept you.

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  4. Pingback: Dusty Old Journals Part 1 | Reshaping Reality

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